Emergency at the Lecture Hall

My throat tickles and sends violent

signals to my brain.

I have to cough, I must cough,

I must, I must.

But here? Among this crowd,

among these serious citizens,

these scholars, not to mention

the head-nodders?

I'm not contagious,

that would be outrageous,

but they don't know that.

Ah yes, I know what I'll do,

I'll cough in Latin.

They'll think me academic.

 

Tussio! Tussio!

Or French, and I'm in love,

or German, and they'll declare

me a philosopher.