It's (truly) the most wonderful time of the year

Every time the holiday season rolls around, we hear Andy Williams croon on incessantly about how “It’s the most wonderful time of the year.”

Now, it’s baseball season (in the form of Spring Training), which is wonderful news, for a couple of reasons. For one, we know that spring is no longer a million miles away, and secondly, it means the Browns’ season is very far off over the horizon. (The order of importance is debatable).

But back to the music. Ladies and gentlemen, I’m here to tell you that you’ve been duped. Not only that, but (and I hope you’re sitting) the lyrics for Andy Williams’ version of his Christmas song were blatantly stolen and altered ... from us. Say it ain’t so, Andy.

Recently unearthed evidence by yours truly shows how “Altering Andy” took the lyrics from its original source, the then-Cleveland-Indians-but-now-Cleveland-Guardians, and shamelessly turned a wonderful baseball song into yet another so-called “Christmas Classic.” (Shouldn’t we have just stopped when Alvin and the Chipmunks broke into the Top 10?)

Consider the current lyrics to the Christmas jingle as opposed to what the lyrics used to be (when they really meant something), and then meet me in the copyright office.

NOW: “It’s the most wonderful time of the year”
USED TO BE: “It’s an ideal time for a cold beer”

NOW: “With the kids jingle belling”
USED TO BE: “With the fans loudly yelling”

NOW: “And everyone telling you be of good cheer”
USED TO BE: “To buy the vendor’s worthless souvenir”

NOW: “It’s the most wonderful time of the year”
USED TO BE: “There’s another stanza coming, we fear”

NOW: “It’s the hap-happiest season of all”
USED TO BE: “Want to be in the playoffs come fall”

NOW: “With those holiday greetings and gay happy meetings”
USED TO BE: “We know that fame is fleeting and with the Astros still cheating”

NOW: “When friends come to call”
USED TO BE: “We must win it all!”

NOW: “It’s the hap-happiest season of all”
USED TO BE: “Baseball’s the good, better, best season of all!”

Someone needs to make Andy and his posse pay, agreed? Seriously, where’s Tim Misny when you need him?

A couple of quick pros and cons regarding our beloved baseball team as it embarks upon what should hopefully be an encore performance to last year’s surprise of the season: The Cleveland Guardians!

Pros: Everything the organization did last year worked out wonderfully, clearly better than anyone in this city dreamed possible. Additionally, all of the surprising young talent from last year will have a season of Major League Baseball under their collective belts – including playoff experience – and should be all the better because of that.

Cons: In sports, there are always surprises: some pleasant, some not so much. With everything that went right last year, it is difficult for this writer to predict everyone will just take another giant step forward – that’s just not how sports work – especially in this town.

But so what? Would it be better if we had lost 100 games last year and were simply hoping for .500 ball? I think not.

Go Guards!