The Ids of March

You know, I’ve been thinking lately (yes folks, a miracle unto itself) about all the things that I’d hoped would go in one direction during my lifetime, but ended up going contrary to what I had wished.

So, being the sharing kind of guy that I am, here are the types of things I’m referring to:

I’d have preferred that the Guardians were still the Indians.

On the other hand, I’d have preferred that I didn’t become so crotchety in my old age, because the “Indians” who were so near and dear to my heart, were awful in the '60s, '70s, '80s and into the '90s, and I seem to recall wanting to sell my soul (dirt cheap) simply for a competitive baseball team. (If you’re wondering, I did have several offers for my soul, which I turned down as I felt the little devil was low-balling me. However, some of my advisors have suggested that I’d have been better off taking the first thing he offered.)

So, what would I rather have? The Guardians, who have known nothing but success in their first year of existence, or an Indians team that did nothing but torture me for the most part of four (count ‘em, four) decades? That makes my statement above about the name change seem kind of irrelevant, doesn’t it? Hey, nobody’s perfect.

I’d have preferred to not regularly chastise Jimmy Haslam et al for subjecting myself and all the other Browns fans on this planet to his “guiding” of the team into football oblivion. But it is kinda fun.

I’d have preferred Art Modell not taking the Browns to Baltimore a quarter-century ago. Had he stayed put, we most likely would not have had to endure those mentioned in the paragraph above.

I’d have preferred the Cavaliers, along with the rest of the NBA, played the style of basketball I so enjoyed in the '80s and '90s. Somewhere along the line, the “team” concept was banned from the playbook.

Similar to the above, I’d have preferred that politicians actually worked in the best interests of the people they represent, instead of focusing on the faults of the opposing party. Funny, but the “team” concept seems to have vanished for these jokers about the same time as in the NBA.

I’d have preferred that CBS would not cancel "Gilligan’s Island" when they did. They were so close to getting off that island, right?

In a similar vein, I’d have preferred that CBS would not cancel "The Beverly Hillbillies." Dang, that Jethro done teached me all I know ‘bout writin’. Much obliged to Jethro, as I done graduated 4th grade (the second attempt).

I’d have preferred to see COVID-19 completely in the world’s rearview mirror quite some time ago. But, much like high-speed internet salesmen, it keeps hanging around on a regular basis. Scram, dudes.

I’d have preferred (that someday) I could have viewed the readership number(s) of my Sporting Views column in the plural sense. Oh well. Maybe next year.

Jeff Bing

Lifelong Westlake resident who dabbles in writing whenever the real world permits. My forte is humor and horror...What a combo!

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Volume 15, Issue 5, Posted 10:14 AM, 03.21.2023